Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
