Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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