Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
