before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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