Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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