like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
