like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
