My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
