He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
