She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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