I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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