After last night, I could never be a politician.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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