An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
