You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
