I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
