it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
