I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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