i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
