new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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