Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
