All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
