Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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