I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
