Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
