I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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