I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
