Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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