i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
