You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
