An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
