I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
