Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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