your room smells of hookers.
And success
My brain says no but my pants say off.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
