At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
