escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
PANTIES FOUND
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