i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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