I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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