Having a random hookup so left but love u
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
