Where is the hickey?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
