he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
