Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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