theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
