Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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