This house was built for laser tag.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
