I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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