Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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