Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
