My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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