can u get pink eye on your cock?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
