So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
