I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
