this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
