watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
