the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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