If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
