I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
