My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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