doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
