fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
