Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
