You just made me feel so damn special
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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