I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
