we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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