the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
