Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
