If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
