if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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