Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
